The Magnet of Sin

Ever wonder why a one-hour newscast typically devotes about two-thirds coverage to murders, rapes, natural disasters and tragedies (the remaining third tends to be a mix of sports, weather and a little 3-minute "feel good" story at the end about some 9-year-old who raised money from a lemonade stand to help fight world hunger)? TV is all about ratings, and ratings are all about money, and negative things sell. Without realizing it often times, we are drawn to the negative.

"Breaking newsflash--this just in--high speed car chase through downtown Glendale--we will stay with this until its conclusion . . ." I have to believe I'm not the only one who has been drawn in--sucked in to this type of coverage. Not sure what my record is for duration of time glued to a chase, but instead of changing the channel to something else, before we know it--30, 45 minutes--or more--have been wasted hoping to get a glimpse how this thing will end. Will he/she be the first one to actually elude capture? Will there be a fiery crash or fatal shoot-out? And, c'mon now, work with me--what a total LET DOWN if the thing ends--as it usually does--with the fugitive peacefully surrendering to the authorities. How boring.

If we believe media coverage, most of what happens in the world is bad, negative, sinful. What if that same one-hour newscast was chock-full (wall to wall) of positive people doing positive things? What would the ratings look like then? Not good! I have no doubt that in the every day world of America (and other countries), there are countless, untold stories of bravery, heroism, people helping people, teachers making a difference, military personnel freeing the oppressed, pastors in small (or large) churches who are not abusing altar boys or who are not making huge salaries, doctors and nurses who are saving lives . . . I could go on and on, couldn't I?

It is difficult, sometimes, to escape what the media is trying to do here. In education, in teacher school, we are taught to "catch them being good". This is true with parenting, as well. We need to be taught, reminded of, reinforced about this because it is SO MUCH EASIER to "catch them being bad". There are two ways to modify the behavior of a child, or of a classroom--beat them over the head when they do wrong things until they conform to our standards, or kill them with love--whenever someone does something right (and this is 90% of the kids 90% of the time), make sure you give them praise. This is also true in coaching. Statistics will show that in any of these arenas, for every one negative comment made about someone's behavior, it takes 4 positive ones to make up for it. "Sticks and stones will break my bones, but words will never hurt me". WHAT A COMPLETE AND TOTAL LIE!!! Physical wounds will eventually heal (the cuts and scrapes, at least), but a wrong word said at the wrong time in the wrong way--that can leave a scar for life.

I am constantly attempting to counterbalance what society, the media, etc. throws at me. Not sure where I heard/read this, but whenever I do it, the rest of the day seems to fall into place as it should: I begin the day by thanking God for ten things in my life. Could be people, situations, things--but I start by not asking God to fix ten things that are wrong; rather, expressing thanks for how He has blessed me. A very simple thing, but often with a profound change in my attitude about life.

Back to Basics

While at Starbucks for my usual venti drip and Sunday Times this morning, I was struck by a quote on the front page referring to President Obama's trip to Africa: "I didn't see anything fresh or new . . .It was the same things about good-governance and responsibility that we've been hearing since the 1980s". Words from Kenyan columnist Barrack Muluka. Upon reading this, I immediately thought of the preacher who ended up giving the exact same sermon for like 23 weeks in a row, each time realizing that his congregation had still not internalized the message. Perhaps Mr. Muluka does not understand that until ANY nation or continent can figure out the basic issues--like responsibility and good-governance--there will continue to be much turmoil.

We've heard messages so many times, we figure "yeah, that's outdated--heard it a thousand times--let's move on to something fresh and new and innovative". I'm guilty of that line of thinking--my guess is we all are at times. We reach for the "self help" books on the shelf at Barnes and Noble, hoping that the new young author has figured things out this time.
When all along, life really comes down to some very simple, age-old truths--that will never change!

If a family--or a city, state or country--spends more than it earns--it will begin compounding debt . . .

If we eat more calories than we burn, we will continue to gain weight . . .

If I want to be respected by those around me, perhaps I should start by respecting them . . .

And you have to love Jesus. Well, you don't have to--but seeing as how He gave His life for us . . .but really, you have to love how He would just cut right to the heart of things--the basics. Today, we have so much "static" and stuff--new technology throwing itself at us constantly--it is becoming much more difficult to see through all the mess and realize "ok, what is it that I really need to know and do?" In His day, it was the Pharisees and the Sadducees--the religious rulers--who would always be trying to "trip him up" with their rhetoric and questioning.

"Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?" Jesus replied, "'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.' This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: 'Love your neighbor as yourself.' All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments."

Wow. And people complain about the Bible being confusing, hard to understand. Love God, and love people. Period. Talk about basic--how much more simple can it get? Please understand here, though, that I fully realize the difference between the words simple and easy. Just because Jesus' words might be simple to understand, those two commandments are anything but easy to carry out. And yet, this illustrates all the more our need to spend some time on first base before trying to run to second.

Life doesn't have to be complicated. We allow it to be. Can't say that I know any Amish people--but I'm thinking they might be on to something . . .

Reality Rock Rekindling

Back in the days of Reality Rock Ministries, I wore many hats. DJ, concert promoter, columnist, etc., etc. The one I enjoyed the most, though, was my "fan" hat. The best way I can illustrate this is in the midst of arranging a concert, running around like a chicken with its head cut off for hours before the first note is played, introducing opening acts, asking Jason Dean why the police cars pulled up outside, making sure there's enough water for the bands, etc., in the back of my mind was to get to that special moment where all "work" was behind me and I could become lost in the sea of other fans in the crowd. I would just slip into a row and allow the concerns of clean up, follow up, etc. to temporarily slip away and simply enjoy whatever music was being offered up. Whether for one, two, three songs or more, this was my most rewarding part of the evening. Deeply personal and wholly satisfying.

After Reality Rock faded into that thing we call time, the "fan" hat also began to fade away--for a variety of reasons, which I will return to shortly. Most importantly, though, is recently, I found that "hat" again. How this has happened I am not sure--perhaps a collection of things. During these past 12 months or so, I turned 50 ("time" has a way of messing with one's mind!); Jason Dean returned from two years in Australia and we began (half jokingly--but half seriously) talking about what it would be like if we had another radio program; I joined Facebook and reconnected with a slew of former Reality Rockers; I had to go through some things in storage and was "forced" to deal with literally hundreds of cassettes containing old (really old) Reality Rock programs, some dating as far back as 1982--yes, nearly three decades!

So my laptop iTunes now has been updated, iPod synched and as I listened to The Choir's "Chase the Kangaroo" and The Prayer Chain's "Whirlpool" while driving up to Big Bear Friday afternoon, I wondered (to myself) if there is any such thing as a musical orgasm. I'm sorry, but yes, it was that good! After so many years, I had perhaps a more seasoned perspective on this music that had had such a profound effect on my life. And it feels really, really good to "rekindle" that spirit. The "fan" hat has not only been found, but is now planted firmly on my head.

Now, back to where it went in the first place. After 15 years of Reality Rock, I knew the time had come for me to move on, and the next chapter was to enter the world of education. I became a high school English teacher (as well as tennis coach at the public school at which I taught--Cajon High in San Bernardino). It didn't take long to realize that if I were to be successful (translation: survive) in this new endeavor, it would take 110% of my energy. I dropped my connection with the youth group at my church, dropped anything Reality Rock related, etc. Also, in the process, I slowly began cheating myself of spiritual growth. Stopped going to church. Looking back, it was a slow fade not into disbelief, but indifference. I justified this by thinking, "Well, Reality Rock took 110% from me; now, it's time to give that much to my new career". Poor move on my part. Yes, I have been successful in this new teaching/coaching venture (teaching morphed into guidance counselor about 8 years ago), but at the expense of my spiritual well-being.
About 5 years ago, I realized what had been happening, and began to "right the ship". Fast forward to where things are now, and I feel like I have pretty much come full circle. And am excited to see where this "rekindling" may lead. Stay tuned . . .

Somewhere In the Middle

"Somewhere between the new and the old - Somewhere between who I am and who I used to be - Somewhere in the middle, You'll find me - Somewhere between the wrong and the right - Somewhere between the darkness and the light - Somewhere between who I was and who You're making me - Somewhere in the middle You'll find me"

Lyrics from Casting Crowns, written by Mark Hall from The Altar and the Door

On many different levels, this song totally resonates with me.

It is so easy to live on one side or the other. The extreme is safe. Red States vs. Blue states. Protestant vs. Catholic. Yankees vs. Mets.

I was at Chilis about 7 years ago during playoff time watching a Laker game in the bar, and I was wearing a Clippers jersey. I like the Clippers--I'm a fan. I also like the Lakers. I'm an NBA fan, period. I like basketball. So there's this one guy sitting at the table next to ours, and he says something like, "Dude, which is it--are you a Lakers fan or a Clippers fan?" The stupidity of this statement still amazes me to this day. But for so many people, in so many areas, this "one or the other, either or" mentality is all they seem to understand.

During the early days of Reality Rock, back in the '80s, preachers would get on their soapbox about the evils of rock music. "You are either for the devil or for Jesus--music is either Christian or satanic--there is no in-between. If you listen to the music of the world, you are a compromised Christian. Burn any tapes/records that are of Satan and the world--only keep those whose songs glorify Christ"

Now, some reading this may wonder what beef I could have with that? Simple: it's not that simple. When I would be invited to speak to youth groups about music, I was very clear about why the above stance is wrong--it's way too simple. Way too easy. Way too wrong! When I asked the kids to raise their hands if they liked to sing "Happy Birthday" at parties, all hands went up. "Ok, is that a Christian song?" I would ask next. "Um, no, not really." How about no, not at all--not even close. It is JUST A SONG. It's a song people sing when it's someone's birthday. It is not satanic. It is not Christian. And, if one would actually take the time and effort to engage their brain long enough to realize that if there is a song playing on the radio about horses, it does not, CAN NOT fall into the "either or" category of Christian or satanic. It is simply a song about horses.

It would be so nice if life were black and white all the time. We really wouldn't have to "wrestle" with those gray areas that don't easily fit into our little boxes.
On my Facebook page, where it asks for my political affiliation, I put the word "hybrid". No, that doesn't mean I'm driving a Prius. It means that I am a registered republican who is pro-life, but against the death penalty. What a terrible republican I am! Arnold is a hybrid. Many republicans feel he is a democratic wolf in sheep's clothing. Bush was a republican, but many republicans called out his immigration policies as being WAY too liberal.

Labels are convenient. Labels are easy. But labels don't always tell the full story.
I am so sick and tired of our two-party system. Yes, there are other parties out there, but let's face it. We have backed ourselves into a corner as a country when it comes to political races. If you're not one or the other, you don't have a chance.

People who attempt to label me usually come up a bit frustrated. I am thankful for that. I am who I am. Somewhere in the middle, you'll find me . . . .

cassette tapes

Within the last year I treated myself to an IPOD for the first time, ditching (once and for all) my Sony Walkman. However, on this warm, cloudy Saturday afternoon, I find myself listening to cassette tapes--yeah, those things that replaced 8-track cartridges back in the '60s.

The occasion--celebrating the survival of old Reality Rock program tapes!

A couple weeks ago, I reconnected with a friend of mine from Atlanta who is a college Chemistry professor. He asked if I kept any program air-checks from KLRD or KUOR. When I told him they had been in a storage unit in Yucaipa since last spring, he grimaced. "Was it air-conditioned?" Well, no. He told me there was no way they had survived the summer heat.

So today, while moving some other stuff, I was determined to take a sampling from the unit back home, pop them into the cassette player and see what I found. Lo and behold, chemistry professors aren't always right, I am happy to say!

Since joining Facebook, I have reconnected with many of the Reality Rock listening/program staff family over the past few months; this listening experience sort of completes the walk down memory lane. Mike Stand, The Call, King's X and Violet Burning are taking me back to some of the best 15 years of my life. Almost makes me want to hop back on the airwaves again--almost . . . .

Transitions

Tomorrow morning, a friend and co-worker will be notifying her boss that she is retiring in June. During the final weeks of school, she will be clearing out her office, saying "good bye" and riding into the sunset of retirement.

A few days ago, I received a text message from a close friend whose mother had just arrived in heaven.

All over this nation, millions of people are experiencing intense, unexpected transitions--jobs being lost or hours cut, homes being lost or in negotiations to be saved--in so many ways--good or bad--transitions become defining moments in our lives.

Over the last 3 and a half years, I have experienced what has been--and surely will be--the most difficult transition of my life. Losing my mother, sister and father in such a short span has not been easy. Some days are better than others. I am a changed person. My world has truly been "rocked".

This summer I will spend in Pasadena removing my parents' lives from the house in which I was raised since I was 5 years old. In the meantime, I continue to press forward in the "details" of settling estate issues.

When a spouse dies, the survivor is faced with a choice: remarry or remain single. In much the same way, I have chosen to become "readopted". Before you ask what I was smoking for lunch, let me explain.

The day after my father passed away in January, I received an email from a very good friend. His family had, over the years, already become like an extended family. The email was basically explaining that his family (his wife and four children) had decided they wanted to "invite" me to join their family. Up until that time, I had been "Uncle John" to the kids. But they voted, and decided I would become their older brother. This is amusing, in that their dad is two years younger than I am.

To try to explain in words what it meant to me to receive an email like that would be impossible. I am SO incredibly thankful to God for blessing me with friends like this--and others--who are helping me through this major life transition.

No, nothing, no one could ever come close to "replacing" the family I grew up with, who adopted me as an infant. But I do know that my mom and dad would be thrilled to know that I will still have friends I can now call family, that I won't be "stranded" on holidays, that this transition is just that--a transition from one period of life to another.

"Life is what happens while you're making other plans" . . .not sure who said it, but my favorite quote by far!

Home for Christmas

This phrase has taken on a wide range of meanings for me this year. The first Christmas didn't even take place in a home, or an inn--happened in a manger . . . .

For the last decade, "Home for the Holidays" has aired on TV the week leading up to Christmas, and highlights the importance of adoption--giving children a "home" not just for Christmas, but for life. As someone who was adopted as an infant, this type of program hits pretty close to home.

Last Friday night, my friend Chris invited me to join him at a homeless shelter in Redlands. For three hours I basically helped set up cots, pass out blankets and fellowshiped with about 15 people who had become pretty down on their luck. For that night, at least, what used to be a Smart and Final warehouse was their "home".

A few nights before Christmas, I was driving around town listening to KSGN, and a Steven Curtis Chapman song came on I had never heard before--"Home for Christmas". It started out pretty sappily (is that a word?!?)--typical "feel good" Christmas tune. But the second verse had a twist--it was about an elderly person in the hospital who was seeking to be "home" for Christmas--home with Jesus--in heaven. Wow. That stopped me in my tracks. This year, I literally spent Christmas Day in the hospital with my 87-year-old father. One day we, as believers, will all be "HOME" for Christmas--forever.