Middle school counseling in San Bernardino

I was at Subway for lunch today, and was talking with the girl making my sandwich. I told her there was no way I could do her job, and she agreed she probably couldn't do mine. When people ask where I work, I usually respond with something like "if you call sitting around talking with kids all day work, then fine", but this is actually a tounge-in-cheek response. It is that, but it is much more.

When I first left the English classroom at Cajon about 8 years ago to become a middle school counselor, I really had no idea what I was getting into. I remember the first week a 6th grade girl came into my office in tears (she was like, what, 11 years old?). I was thinking to myself her grandma must have just passed away or something. But no. "I thought I knew who my best friend was, but now I'm not really sure, because she has a different best friend". This hit me like a ton of bricks, because, like so many things I would (and continue to) encounter, I was not prepared for this in my counseling classes. So I had to "get into" the world of a 6th grader REALLY fast.

Since that first week, I can truly say that every day (unlike teaching high school English) has been different from the next. Many days are fairly non-eventful, and I am thankful for those. Because the ones that are "eventful"--they are not always pleasant. Like the year I had a 7th grade girl come in my office telling me that her mother just died from AIDS, and her father was in the hospital--with AIDS. Then later that year, she informed me that yes, her father, too, had joined her mother in death. And toward the end of last year, when an 8th grade boy attempted suicide. I found this out from a note a teacher confiscated. I called the boy in, and he nodded his head--yes, this was true, but apparently he did not take enough pills. When I was on the phone with his guardian (step-dad--mom had disappeared two years ago, and never did find out about biological dad), informing him that his stepson attempted to take his own life earlier that week, the best he could come up with was "Dammit, I am so sick and tired of that kid--he was caught with weed a couple weeks ago. I'm through with him--might as well send him back to his mom". And then a couple weeks ago a 7th grade girl was in tears on my couch because both parents have been out of work, they just sit at home drinking away their depression.

These (true) stories are often times balanced with remarkable students doing remarkable things both in and out of the classroom, or on the athletic field, etc. It is not all bad, and I am thankful that even in the desperate situations I shared above, there is often times a positive resolution, healing, etc. But often times, unfortunately, there is not.

This morning began with not one, but two teachers stopping by my office seeking assistance in filing a CPS report. I also placed a call to one of my students' parole officers. This 8th grade boy has been in juvy for about a week or so for breaking into a house to steal some video gaming equipment. I was inquiring about receiving clearance to visit him while he was locked up. I then met with a 7th grade girl and her parents who claimed a student had sexually harrassed their daughter. My day ended around 5:15 when our boys softball team lost in the championship game to Cesar Chavez MS by one run.

Tomorrow I will be visiting 3 7th grade science classrooms to show a 25 minute DVD about the Columbine shootings, and how bullying and harrassment can lead students to tragic measures. It is unfortunate I should even have to spend time going over this message with students--but it is real, and it is essential they are confronted with the concept of tolerance, acceptance and understanding those who are different.

Tomorrow is also Friday. Friday is a very special day . . . .